wow. this is amazing how people can stumble into something like this where we can all share and help each other through our difficulties. i am now a junior in high school and i have really high hopes for college and life in the real world. i grew up having no idea about my status in the gov until just recently (haha sorry for pouring all my problems but this is the only way i feel safe doing it) i guess i had guesses of my status because i was restricted by my mother so many times when i wanted to do anything that had to do w/ ss#. i never told my friends of my status after i found out though. my friends are all citizens of the us and they don't know that im illegal. . i mean its not that i don't like them but it's the fact that i feel like it's really hard to trust anybody in a world when all of a sudden it starts to crumble and i don't know who to turn to. (haha i should suck it up and not cry myself to sleep sometimes) when i took my psat during my sophomore year, i made the mistake of bubbling in the Citizen bubble even though i knew i wasn't because i didn't want anybody to know and i was ashamed of it. and when i took the psat again this year i bubbled in permanent residents because i didn't want to lie so much anymore, even though i still did because that status was also false. now, I've come to accept myself a little more for who i was in this country. it's so hard to talk to anybody at my school about my status because i haven't met anyone else with the same problem that i could talk to. now that im going to apply for college nest year, im really scared because of the deportation news and i get really scared when i do anything to reveal my true status publicly with my name all over it. i came to the US with my parents in around 1997 and 10 years of schooling, counting this year. my parents hired a lawyer but they took the money without giving us much information and now we can't find that lawyer anymore. when i was a freshmen, i think, my dad went back to our home country and it's just my mom and my three younger siblings. after my dad left she has been trying out for the lottery "green card" tickets every year, hoping to get us status because apparently, according to my mom, we're "blacked out" and without any status because they all expired. i have a feeling that she doesn't know where to go from here and hiring a lawyer is too expensive. luckily my youngest sibling is born in the us and is a citizen. =] haha. my mom goes to adult school to learn english but it's been difficult for her and i really want to help her out. Going to college is something that i really want to do because i really want to become a school nurse and help out. (my mom said that nurses are something US people would accept for a permanent resident.) Another reason is when my sister was sick, this person my mom knew came to our house to make her better for no cost and i want to be able to have the knowledge and materials, like that person, to be able to be helpful in that way. i really want to go into a good college that can teach me with hands on experience like UCLA or University of Phoenix.(in-state, of course ) and have scholarships so the $ burden wouldn't be so hard on me. if you have any info from experience on how i can get into college as inexpensively as possible w/ my status PLEASE!!!!. thanks.