- Home
- Forums
- Immigrant Visas (Green Cards)
- I-485 Issues
- I-485 Issues Common to All Services Centers
- General I-485 and Related Issues
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
july16, jokes ?
- Thread starter syj
- Start date
Why
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know
the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a
dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know
the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a
dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
WheresMahGreen
Registered Users (C)
Here's one...
Hope I don't get bashed up for this...
A Pakistani Ambassador to the UN just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Bush. They shook hands and walked together in the long verandah when suddenly the Pakistani said, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."
The Pakistani whispers, "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, Blacks, Chinese, Japanese and Indians but never any Pakistani, Afghani or Arabs. So my son is very upset. He doesn't understand, nor do I, about why there aren't any Arabs, Pakistanis, and Afghanis in the Star Trek show."
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Pakistani, and whispers in his ear, "Because... the show is all about the future."
Hope I don't get bashed up for this...
A Pakistani Ambassador to the UN just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Bush. They shook hands and walked together in the long verandah when suddenly the Pakistani said, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."
The Pakistani whispers, "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, Blacks, Chinese, Japanese and Indians but never any Pakistani, Afghani or Arabs. So my son is very upset. He doesn't understand, nor do I, about why there aren't any Arabs, Pakistanis, and Afghanis in the Star Trek show."
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Pakistani, and whispers in his ear, "Because... the show is all about the future."
Do you know this?
* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills , and kills you with his bills
* Father: A banker provided by nature.
* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
* Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
* Rumor: News that travels at the speed of sound.
* Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
* College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
* Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
* Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.
* Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.
* Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
* Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
* Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY
* Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after
* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills , and kills you with his bills
* Father: A banker provided by nature.
* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
* Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
* Rumor: News that travels at the speed of sound.
* Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
* College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
* Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
* Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.
* Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.
* Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
* Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
* Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY
* Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after
Veerappan
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of kingfisher?
ans: beerappan.
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bisleri?
ans: neerappan.
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bambino vermicelli?
ans: kheerappan.
What is veerappan's sister's name?
ans: veerakkan.
How does veerappan's daughter begin a letter to him?
ans: dear appan.
what does veerappan give as incentive to his employees?
ans. VSOPs... Veerappans Sandalwood Options. u can cut the sandalwood tree 5 yrs after joining his gang.
what does veerappan give as incentive to his managers?
ans. VTOPs Veerappans Tusk options. u are given a baby elephant while joining the gang. u can cut the tusks when the elephant grows on and for finale.............
What is the name of Veerappan's IT company?
ans.VIPRO (Veerappan IT Products).
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of kingfisher?
ans: beerappan.
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bisleri?
ans: neerappan.
What happens if veerappan becomes the chairman of bambino vermicelli?
ans: kheerappan.
What is veerappan's sister's name?
ans: veerakkan.
How does veerappan's daughter begin a letter to him?
ans: dear appan.
what does veerappan give as incentive to his employees?
ans. VSOPs... Veerappans Sandalwood Options. u can cut the sandalwood tree 5 yrs after joining his gang.
what does veerappan give as incentive to his managers?
ans. VTOPs Veerappans Tusk options. u are given a baby elephant while joining the gang. u can cut the tusks when the elephant grows on and for finale.............
What is the name of Veerappan's IT company?
ans.VIPRO (Veerappan IT Products).