Abused, Troubled, and Scared.


New Member
I entered the US on a K1 visa, left everything behind, used all my savings to get here, and arrived in May 2018.
Everything was fine, we got married within the 90 days. Everything seemed to be okay. We were told we could live together in his aunt and uncle's house until we were up and running. Great. I'd waited YEARS for this to finally happen.

About 2 months into being here, I'm constantly asking about the Adjustment of Status process but I kept getting excuses. I found out he had no money! Initially, when I got here, he told me he was saving to get us an apartment and that's why he didn't help me, financially, to get here. I believed that (ugh). His mother sent some money so we could get the process started. I've got all the paperwork together, filled it all out... He refuses to sign. Made a tonne of excuses... I find out he's spending the money on drugs, going out, and other things. The money is gone. There is this whole intervention about if I love him yadda yadda yadda... (I'm the one that left everything in my country to be with him, has been helping him etc.. They're all coming for me because of everything he's told them... Apparently, I'm the problem for his drug abuse and no money!
He was sent another bunch of money and the same thing happened. He spent it. I have NO idea why it was sent to him after the first round of problems. Also, the paperwork had gone missing. He strongly denies he knew nothing about it... But... Ugh! No more money was sent again. He was told he had to earn it.

Over the course of my initial year, I find out he's a drug addict, he loses his job, he's been cheating (this had been happening for years RIGHT up to and beyond my arrival), he's been mentally abusive (gaslighting, manipulation, threatening to call ICE, and so on). I have a video of him concealing a knife he pulled on me. Screenshots of setting up drug deals... One WHEN I WAS WITH HIM?!?!

His aunt and uncle see what's actually going on and give him chances to sort himself out and contribute more to the household. He doesn't. He fought with me all the time for trying to get him to do something with himself, he got unemployment $, that went on minimal food and the rest on Thor knows what. He was going out at the small hours while I was stuck at home and unable to go anywhere. This was all seen and relayed to his mother who thought I was the issue... He was, eventually, kicked out of the house.

I'm able to stay at the price of being a live-in maid, basically. He barely talks to me, I have to beg for $ to get some food (they provide me with some food here but it's not a lot or the healthiest). I'm not complaining. I have a roof over my head, a bed, my cat, my belongings so I can entertain myself. The kids like hanging out with me, so that's fun sometimes. He is still jobless, switches between sofa hopping and living in his car. I'm learning through his "friends" that they won't take him in because he is a liability, a financial burden, and they don't want him there. He refuses to live with his mom or sister. There is always an excuse for not getting a job. There is always an excuse for everything!

I'm SO angry at myself for things getting this way and not seeing any red flags before I got here. My mental health is a mess, the lists of chores they have me doing here are just unreal (they don't do a damn thing for themselves or their kids). No one has asked how I am for over a year; It feels like no one cares about me in this house. I have nowhere else I can go though. There has been pressure for me to get a job but I've told them I cannot due to my status and the trouble it could cause. I now keep myself busy with free online school courses.

Covid is running rampant in my home country. I cannot get back as I have no place to go, no family, I have no money...
I have absolutely nothing. I have so many friends all over the country here that I still want to see, but unable to. (they are in no real financial place to help me).

My question here is what can I do?
If I do find a way to leave, I would love to come back and see my friends, see more of the country; I've not been taken anywhere. I've been trapped in this house since I've got here, basically. we never went anywhere apart from WalMart. (This Covid stay at home is a walk in the park! haha) I've seen friends here less than 10 times since being here because of his controlling behaviour. He's revelling in the joy of still having control over me facing a ban if I leave/am deported.
If I am facing a ban, is there a way to have it disputed as he is the reason for all of this happening? His aunt, uncle, mother, and cousin can vouch for what has happened.
If I am banned, how long is it for?
The stress of everything is making me lose pigmentation in my hair, I've gained stress psoriasis... I'm scared. I don't know what to do, where to go.

I'm sorry for the lengthly post. A lot has happened. This is all a snippet of some of my experiences here.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you are safe and well. <3