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Personal opinions please About life in USA

meme21

meme21

New Member
Good Day All

I am getting very excited as the 1st of October is almost on our doorstep! :)

However I have a Huge concern. And I would like to hear from people who have won the DV Lottery in the past. I am 38 years old and my husband 61 years old. We have a fairly comfortable live here in our home country. Have jobs, cars and a home, still paying on 1 car, the home, 2 creditcards and 1 store card. The usual debt people have, and we really can afford to travel locally and eat out atleast 3 times a week. So we really living a good life.

However I ALWAYS had the dream and desire to live in the States. I dont want to give up on this dream now out of fear and one day when I am old and grey regret not taking the opportunity. So my questions are:
Is it wise for us to do such a radical move with my husband already being a senior?
What is American culture like interms of older people? Will he still get work in USA?
Is it wise to chase after a dream and give up on your comfortable reality?
And how many of you that won the Lottery are success stories? And please tell me your different ages and types of jobs you have in the USA?

All replies are greatly appreciated.

Hope to hear from you soon.
 
I'm 50 my wife is 40. I have spent much of the last 20 years going back and forth between the UK and the USA and my work(IT consulting) meant it was very easy for me to find work as I am "known" within my niche part of the industry.

I was earning a good living in the UK, and my wife had an excellent VP role with a London bank - both on 6 figure salaries. Nice toys (cars/motorbikes). Grown up kids, grand kids and one young child. Couple of homes, On track to retire early - very fortunate.

So I had a good life there and knew I could have a good life here. So it was a tough decision. We had property in the USA and my brother is a citizen so we could holiday here as often as we liked, but for us, the UK weather was a factor. We weighed everything up and the USA was marginally better in some aspects, marginally worse in others. Honestly it came down to weather and knowing that our young child would grow up in a place where you could enjoy the outdoors year round. Coming to the USA means I will retire later. Moving around the world is financially damaging, you go backwards for a while and throw away lots of possessions you hadn't planned on replacing. It is a shock to the bank balance - I think it cost me around $100k and the change in tax position will cost me more than that again. However, the lifestyle is wonderful and we are rebuilding our lives. It's exciting.

Now, for you, I would be more cautious. If your husband is financially ready to retire, or exceptionally in demand work wise, then it won't be too bad. However, it is expensive to be here and there are much more concerns about healthcare costs and so on. Your perspective will be different to his. Doing this at 40 is a hell of a lot easier than doing this at 50, and doing it at 60 would be VERY brave. Deep pockets will make it easier, but if that does not match your financial position you need to be realistic. I can add up my costs in dollars and years of work. What will your move cost for your husband at a time when he may be eyeing the golf clubs and slippers....
 
Well said Simon.

However remember that we only have so few decades to live and there is no ATM at the cemetery. For better or worse life is not only about security it is also about risk.
 
I think it's also really difficult to answer the question with no idea which country or region the OP comes from, what jobs her and her husband do, how much they owe on their house, how house prices where they live now compare to where they want to go in the US, what comparable standards of living are, etc....
 
The age gap should be a concern. A 40-yo person might be willing to take more risks, more ambitious to learn/adapt. But you know what they say: you are as young as you feel.
You talk about your desire to live in the US. What about your husband?
 
Eucn said:
Well said Simon.

However remember that we only have so few decades to live and there is no ATM at the cemetery. For better or worse life is not only about security it is also about risk.
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Very true. That is partly why I think it gets harder as you get older. A 30 or 40 year old and expect to have many more years of life and so the risk of moving to a new country has a longer payback time than someone at 50 or 60. As you point it out, you can't take it with you, so what is important is to live well and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Honestly I don't think we would have made the move without knowing our daughter would benefit over the long term . Like the OP my wife was keener than I was, so that would have left us at stalemate. But knowing how the move would benefit my daughter was the deciding factor - and we are all enjoying the lifestyle that the USA (and particularly California) can offer. It is a very privileged lifestyle - not only for the rich.
 
SusieQQQ said:
I think it's also really difficult to answer the question with no idea which country or region the OP comes from, what jobs her and her husband do, how much they owe on their house, how house prices where they live now compare to where they want to go in the US, what comparable standards of living are, etc....
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Good points Susie. Also having kids is a big factor. For my 6 year old I have to now save massive amounts of money rather than a few thousand bucks for the (excellent) UK university system.
 
Depends on where you're from opie if you're from some third world shithole then yes it is wise

I always think of it like this, no matter how rich you're if you're still a third world citizen then you're at a disadvantage, now given that i like travelling, being a third world citizen means you have a third world passport which sucks balls coz you need visa for nearly every first world country. if you move to a new, first world country you may not be as rich as you thought you were

My parents were quite shocked after knowing that I've been selected, they were afraid, maybe that's just how people are, afraid of change. But my future is gloomy in my country. Ever since my early teenage years I've never associated with my country's culture, don't need to name my country butt I'll just say I'm from a southeast asian country

Most people die in the same place they were born.

I'd rather be an average / normal first world citizen than a filty rich third world shithole citizen

-higher quality of life
-better in the long run
-good for raising children


Just my 2 cents
 
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BetaPhaggot said:
Depends on where you're from opie if you're from some third world shithole then yes it is wise

I always think of it like this, no matter how rich you're if you're still a third world citizen then you're at a disadvantage, if you move to a new, first world country you may not be as rich as you thought you were

I'd rather be an average / normal first world citizen than a filty rich third world shithole citizen

Just my 2 cents
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Language a bit colorful, but yeah - that is an absolutely fair point! For some people this chance isn't about trading up from a BMW to a Porsche, it is about trading up to a safe home, with opportunity to put food on the table and have a solid roof over your head. That is not my experience, but I don't forget that is the scenario for a lot of people.
 
Britsimon said:
Language a bit colorful, but yeah - that is an absolutely fair point! For some people this chance isn't about trading up from a BMW to a Porsche, it is about trading up to a safe home, with opportunity to put food on the table and have a solid roof over your head. That is not my experience, but I don't forget that is the scenario for a lot of people.
Click to expand...

I'd rather drive a ford but live in Philadelphia than having a lambo but live in, say, india
 
:)Good Day All

Thank you so much for your responses. Very interesting points were made, very helpful.
Britsimon I would just like to thank you for always being so helpful and taking out the time to give Good advise to us all here on this forum, you are a Absolute Star.

Britsimon thank you for sharing that information about your life so candidly. Yes, you are in a very fortunate position, being able to travel the world, and obviously alot of hard work and money goes into moving between countries as you mentioned. And that was one of my fears, that this might drain us financially But I dont want fear to hold me back from taking risks or realizing my dream. Most successful people are in that "position" because they took more risks than the average person. So I guess I will have to give this some serious thought.

SussieQQQ and BetaPhaggot I am from SA (third world country), without stating the obvious problems here, we have not suffered at the hands of crime here, but economically alot has impacted us. Husband was without a job for a few months but he is working now again. The rise in food prices, petrol, electricity, toll gate bullying etc... the list just goes on. Our mortgage is 7 years old, all our debt beside the home is just about $12 000. But on the upside, we have about $8 000 in savings, and my pension at work is about $46 000 and should we sell our home we will also cash in on some money. So on these standards I guess we are not doing to bad, however I just feel that we are not living a quality life. Our currency is so poor,, R10.97 to the US$, that is horrific. Our money just feel soooo useless and we both Love travelling but cant really dare travelling to Europe or USA, it will cost us a fortune!!!
My husband have adult children all married and have several grandchildren, but we dont have kids of our own. I know this must sound a bit selfish, but we both want to do this to expand our horizons. Want to delve into a new culture, travel more and just doing something outside the box. My husband is very young at heart and real zest for life, he is more of a free spirit than me... I always think of financial impact of a situation where he is "living in the moment"type of person always reminding me that life is short, while you have the health and money you must go for what you passionate about.


So against the background I gave you above, we want to do this for ourselves not because we have children that we have to consider, as with many people I have read on forums about. But we also realize that it will not always be easy and that this will not be a walk in the park... but we think this could be a crazy yet fun journey.
Thank you for your time and interest in my story and sorry for the looong message LOL.

Your responses are really Appreciated and I hope you all living your dreams! Cause life is too short to not be Happy and not living your passion! :)
 
meme21 said:
:)Good Day All

Thank you so much for your responses. Very interesting points were made, very helpful.
Britsimon I would just like to thank you for always being so helpful and taking out the time to give Good advise to us all here on this forum, you are a Absolute Star.

Britsimon thank you for sharing that information about your life so candidly. Yes, you are in a very fortunate position, being able to travel the world, and obviously alot of hard work and money goes into moving between countries as you mentioned. And that was one of my fears, that this might drain us financially But I dont want fear to hold me back from taking risks or realizing my dream. Most successful people are in that "position" because they took more risks than the average person. So I guess I will have to give this some serious thought.

SussieQQQ and BetaPhaggot I am from SA (third world country), without stating the obvious problems here, we have not suffered at the hands of crime here, but economically alot has impacted us. Husband was without a job for a few months but he is working now again. The rise in food prices, petrol, electricity, toll gate bullying etc... the list just goes on. Our mortgage is 7 years old, all our debt beside the home is just about $12 000. But on the upside, we have about $8 000 in savings, and my pension at work is about $46 000 and should we sell our home we will also cash in on some money. So on these standards I guess we are not doing to bad, however I just feel that we are not living a quality life. Our currency is so poor,, R10.97 to the US$, that is horrific. Our money just feel soooo useless and we both Love travelling but cant really dare travelling to Europe or USA, it will cost us a fortune!!!
My husband have adult children all married and have several grandchildren, but we dont have kids of our own. I know this must sound a bit selfish, but we both want to do this to expand our horizons. Want to delve into a new culture, travel more and just doing something outside the box. My husband is very young at heart and real zest for life, he is more of a free spirit than me... I always think of financial impact of a situation where he is "living in the moment"type of person always reminding me that life is short, while you have the health and money you must go for what you passionate about.


So against the background I gave you above, we want to do this for ourselves not because we have children that we have to consider, as with many people I have read on forums about. But we also realize that it will not always be easy and that this will not be a walk in the park... but we think this could be a crazy yet fun journey.
Thank you for your time and interest in my story and sorry for the looong message LOL.

Your responses are really Appreciated and I hope you all living your dreams! Cause life is too short to not be Happy and not living your passion! :)
Click to expand...

My currency is literally a thousand times worse than yours, $1 = 11,000, so big it's a pain in the ass to count money in my currency

I suggest while you're waiting for your interview you should work on your english

Imagine buying a burger that costs you 40,000 or an iPhone that costs 10 million..
 
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meme21 said:
:)Good Day All

Thank you so much for your responses. Very interesting points were made, very helpful.
Britsimon I would just like to thank you for always being so helpful and taking out the time to give Good advise to us all here on this forum, you are a Absolute Star.

Britsimon thank you for sharing that information about your life so candidly. Yes, you are in a very fortunate position, being able to travel the world, and obviously alot of hard work and money goes into moving between countries as you mentioned. And that was one of my fears, that this might drain us financially But I dont want fear to hold me back from taking risks or realizing my dream. Most successful people are in that "position" because they took more risks than the average person. So I guess I will have to give this some serious thought.

SussieQQQ and BetaPhaggot I am from SA (third world country), without stating the obvious problems here, we have not suffered at the hands of crime here, but economically alot has impacted us. Husband was without a job for a few months but he is working now again. The rise in food prices, petrol, electricity, toll gate bullying etc... the list just goes on. Our mortgage is 7 years old, all our debt beside the home is just about $12 000. But on the upside, we have about $8 000 in savings, and my pension at work is about $46 000 and should we sell our home we will also cash in on some money. So on these standards I guess we are not doing to bad, however I just feel that we are not living a quality life. Our currency is so poor,, R10.97 to the US$, that is horrific. Our money just feel soooo useless and we both Love travelling but cant really dare travelling to Europe or USA, it will cost us a fortune!!!
My husband have adult children all married and have several grandchildren, but we dont have kids of our own. I know this must sound a bit selfish, but we both want to do this to expand our horizons. Want to delve into a new culture, travel more and just doing something outside the box. My husband is very young at heart and real zest for life, he is more of a free spirit than me... I always think of financial impact of a situation where he is "living in the moment"type of person always reminding me that life is short, while you have the health and money you must go for what you passionate about.


So against the background I gave you above, we want to do this for ourselves not because we have children that we have to consider, as with many people I have read on forums about. But we also realize that it will not always be easy and that this will not be a walk in the park... but we think this could be a crazy yet fun journey.
Thank you for your time and interest in my story and sorry for the looong message LOL.

Your responses are really Appreciated and I hope you all living your dreams! Cause life is too short to not be Happy and not living your passion! :)
Click to expand...


Ok, knowing a bit more about your situation helps. Ignoring the house, you are 4k in debt (your debts will have to be paid off by your savings). So the equity in your house is all you would have to start a new life here. Think about that. Is that enough?

Next, you have family that will be in SA. If you want to see them once you are here you will have to fly home or fly them to the States. The majority of Americans can't afford to take international holidays and US companies only give 2 to 3 weeks annual vacation to workers anyway. So realistically could you afford to see your grand kids? Even though your hubby is a free spirit, surely he will want to see his family.

Also do you have friends in the USA? Sure you will make friends in time, but again, it takes a while. Until then, you might feel isolated.

If you can't afford that and it will be tough starting from scratch, a new life here could become a nightmare for you.

Contrasting that with life in SA. I am sure it is hard, and safety is a concern, but you know how to get by there. SusieQQQ can probably empathise more easily on your situation.

As you rightly said, I have been a risk taker and some of those risks have paid off. However, in your situation, I would probably not take the risk.
 
Just to add to what Simon just said, I wouldn't be taking this risk if I was in your situation mainly on account of your husband's age. Getting a job at 61 is going to be real tough, it's not going to be the same as the situation he's experienced back at home - being without a job for a few months. There's no social benefit he can depend/draw on.

There's also medical insurance to contend with. Unless you're able to get a job that gives you a great coverage, you will be paying through your nose for personal coverage.
 
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