What signs may indicate that I'm being married for a greencard?

Evac

New Member
I have met my fiancé now for little bit over a year now. We met each other throught a singing app, and fell inlove fairly quickly. We both didn't believe online romance let alone long distance relationship. But everything seem to happen very naturally. Last time I went there to see him, he introduced his entire family to me, and proposed. Since the last trip, we had been talking about where we want to live our lives...
Even tho I never seen any " red flags" but I wondered if would know what would a red flag look like even if I seen one... Also..
My family never liked the idea of me moving so far away, and since he's from the country that had one of the most illegals( China), they are very quick in questioning his intentions..

Let me just list all my concerns and also counter these points for argument sake, please help me to get my mind straight ...

Concern.1. He did expressed his love for me pretty early on ( about a month after we were " together")
Counter.1. He seem genuine, he acts like a man madly in love, he gets jealous, sad, emotional, happy, spent a lot of time with me.
Concern.2. The few time I went to see him I was the one that paid for the tickets, he has an ok job in China, but nothing compared to what I make here. (Airfare takes about 1 month for me to make, where takes him about 4 months)
Counter.2. He always offered to pay me back, also everytime I go there, he take care of all expenses.( hotel, food, everything)
Concern.3. I m 10 years older than him ( I m 38, he's 28) with 2 kids from my previous marriage.
Counter.3. I look very young for my age, and not to be conceited .. I m pretty. He did mentioned if I want to, he is willing to raise my kids together with me. (My kids are with their dad and his family, they live a very stable, and good live, and I would never take that away from them), he also want a kid of our own, once we are married, he want us to try.
I don't want to end up heart broken and humiliated one day, please help me sees more properly. Thanks!
 
I say run for the hills.

The biggest red flag that I see and you didn't mention, English doesn't seem to be your first language. I could be wrong and it maybe just your writing skills.
 
I say run for the hills.

The biggest red flag that I see and you didn't mention, English doesn't seem to be your first language. I could be wrong and it maybe just your writing skills.


Yes, English isn't my first language ... My family moved here from Hong Kong when I was 19... And why would that be a red flag in this situation?
 
Yes, English isn't my first language ... My family moved here from Hong Kong when I was 19... And why would that be a red flag in this situation?

Not only a Chinese helping another Chinese, but bring him all the way from China even with a large age gap.... Huge Red Flag!!!!

And please don't take it personal, I don't mean to be rude. Unless there is a problem with the mother (drugs, mental issues, violence etc.), in the US over 90% of the time the mother is granted custody of her children. Another red flag......
 
Not only a Chinese helping another Chinese, but bring him all the way from China even with a large age gap.... Huge Red Flag!!!!

And please don't take it personal, I don't mean to be rude. Unless there is a problem with the mother (drugs, mental issues, violence etc.), in the US over 90% of the time the mother is granted custody of her children. Another red flag......

There was no fighting with the custody btw me and my ex husband. We agreed to have joined custody. He has a large family my kids grew up with, my family is not around. The time we were together, I was a stay at home mom. Financially I wasn't able to take care of them on my own, if he paid for child support, I would still need to work full time, which leave the kids in some kind of after school program all day. As for now, I m still very involved with the kids's daily activities.
 
It's up to you first of all to determine if your fiance is real or not.
If you think you are and go ahead with marriage , as long as you stick together and your relation is real, he will succeed.
do not worry about too much about red flags every red flag can be overcome. People with age difference and kids always get
married and be happy. What matters is my first sentence. Good luck.
 
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