Permanent Resident in need of financial support

[Terese Palfi]

I am a permanent resident and have been married for 3 years to a US citizen husband whom I had to leave because of ongoing domestic abuse throughout our marriage. I just couldn't take any more. Now he refuses to support me, and he is dragging me through the divorce court, he has a lawyer but I cannot afford one. My expenses are $1600- monthly and I only have a disability pension from my country of origin, $1150-. I read that with Affidavit of support he has to support me with AT LEAST 125% of poverty level, but how do I get him to pay? If I cannot get support from him to cover the last part of my expenses I will have to leave my apartment and live in my car. I just do not know what to do!

 

[newacct]

You should definitely have a lawyer for divorce so you don't get screwed by the other side. There are various free legal aid services in many areas for poor people especially women in abusive or vulnerable situations. You can try to find such a service in your state. A divorce lawyer can help you see if you can get spousal support, as well as a share of the common property, as part of the divorce.

Otherwise, about not having much income in the long term, I think you should not bring your immigration and your divorce into this -- just think of yourself as one of the many poor people in America. What do you do? You can try to find a job. There are various social services available for very poor people in the US, like Food Stamps, Medicaid insurance, etc., and some services for disabled people; I am not very familiar with them. These programs might help you with food, health, etc., but isn't something you can live on.

Because your husband filed an Affidavit of Support for you, while his obligations still exist (i.e. you haven't become a citizen, etc.), you could theoretically sue him for support to reach the 125% poverty level if your own income doesn't reach it. In practice, this is very hard to do because you have to sue in federal court, which costs a lot.

 

[Terese Palfi]

Not very helpful at all. Pro Bono lawyers only help non contested divorces. No other lawyer will help without payment up front. Work is out of the question, as I am disabled and have been on disability pension since 2002 and cannot work because of my health, otherwise Denmark would never have given me the pension at all. No, it does not cost anything to sue in Federal Court. The fact is that my husband needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions and decisions. There is obviously a lot more to my situation which would be too much to write here, but I am sick and tired of being the abused ill treated party and being told that I just need to accept it, and "fix it my self. I am sick and tired of the fact that there is so much focus on "the poor American spouse who marries an alien who just is out to use him for a green card and what not" and that when I do research online on how to get my husband to live up to the signature he placed on the contract with his own government, all I can find is posts, explanations and advice for the American spouse on "how to get out of" supporting his alien spouse, even when he is the culprit who messes up the marriage! Where is the advice for a woman like me who was deliberately manipulated into coming here and became his emotional punching bag from the very first day of the marriage? Who loved him with all my heart, but to the narcissistic "BLIP" I was just a game? Where is the help for me? Nowhere.

No. For me, being an alien wife, it's all a question of "how do I/we get rid of her again, so she does not become a liability!" No, there is no option of food stamps, or other SS help, because I am not a "qualified alien". All in all, I see it this way; An American man brought me here, married me just to have someone to torment and when I grew wise to what he really is about, he stands there with all the power with money to pay an attorney to rip me apart and get out of taking responsibility. I may as well just pack up and leave the country, because I am obviously not welcome here!

 

[Britsimon]

Not very helpful at all. Pro Bono lawyers only help non contested divorces. No other lawyer will help without payment up front. Work is out of the question, as I am disabled and have been on disability pension since 2002 and cannot work because of my health, otherwise Denmark would never have given me the pension at all. No, it does not cost anything to sue in Federal Court. The fact is that my husband needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions and decisions. There is obviously a lot more to my situation which would be too much to write here, but I am sick and tired of being the abused ill treated party and being told that I just need to accept it, and "fix it my self. I am sick and tired of the fact that there is so much focus on "the poor American spouse who marries an alien who just is out to use him for a green card and what not" and that when I do research online on how to get my husband to live up to the signature he placed on the contract with his own government, all I can find is posts, explanations and advice for the American spouse on "how to get out of" supporting his alien spouse, even when he is the culprit who messes up the marriage! Where is the advice for a woman like me who was deliberately manipulated into coming here and became his emotional punching bag from the very first day of the marriage? Who loved him with all my heart, but to the narcissistic "BLIP" I was just a game? Where is the help for me? Nowhere.

No. For me, being an alien wife, it's all a question of "how do I/we get rid of her again, so she does not become a liability!" No, there is no option of food stamps, or other SS help, because I am not a "qualified alien". All in all, I see it this way; An American man brought me here, married me just to have someone to torment and when I grew wise to what he really is about, he stands there with all the power with money to pay an attorney to rip me apart and get out of taking responsibility. I may as well just pack up and leave the country, because I am obviously not welcome here!

Respectfully, I think you need to reserve your anger for those that deserve it rather than lashing out at people who try to offer helpful comments.

It is obvious that you need legal help - so that is what you need to find. The link below may help with some ideas about that. However, you must be sure he is worth suing. If he has little money/income you might be wasting your time. The Federal poverty guidelines for a single person is $11770 per year, so the 125% level is not much more than the pension you already receive.

http://www.womansdivorce.com/afford-a-divorce.html

 

[Terese Palfi]

It is sadness and frustration, Britsimon , not anger at all, and I have not lashed out on any individual, only the system of how things work. As I have said, it is not possible to get legal help and that is just a fact. I have tried in every possible way. Thank you, and newacct for your suggestions and efforts and time. God bless.